Friday, June 10, 2011

Another Rich Idea

I flat-out despise the rich.
With every fiber of my soul.
When I discover someone has money, it doesn’t matter whether I like that person or not, I hate them.
You have to realize, I spend a good deal of time hating. I hate the living and the dead, the vegetable and the mineral, the good and the bad, the black and the white and the brown and the yellow.
There’s a real Pier 6 brawl going on at the top of my hate list as to who or what I hate with the most passion. But over the long haul, Numero Uno with a bullet, has been and probably always will be the rich.
Since I’ve never believed in absolutes, I would imagine there are some terrific people of wealth out there, those that attempt to help and heal with their cash. I suppose there are those that see great injustices to man and beast and are intelligent, generous and human enough to rub it down with the salve of their leather-bound checkbooks.
I just see way too many horses’ asses with money on the other side of the financial fence.
And predictably, these heartless jerks are greedy, self-centered and worst of all, utterly oblivious to that 96 percent of the world that never will even sniff the kind of cash they piss away on a lunch they’ll never remember.
Take the simple-headed gherkin who happens to be the CEO of General Motors, Dan Akerson.
Now, you’d think Danny Boy would have other fish to fry, considering GM hasn’t made a car worth a damn in about 40 years.
Oh, I stand corrected, GM cars have some value. They represent the voices of heavenly angels to thousands of auto repairmen around the globe who are able to put their children through college on the income derived from repeatedly fixing any and all GM models.
But instead, Danny is going to fix something of his own. He’s going to fix our economy and our environment, bless his Christian soul.
His solution?
Mr. Akerson wants the federal gas tax raised by as much as $1 a gallon.
I’ll allow a few moments for applause and genuflection.
At a time when a gallon of gasoline is approaching the cost of a decent dinner, this guy wants the American public to be forced to spend even more to fill up.
I suppose his cure for a broken foot would be to crush the ankle.
What’s even more uplifting is this buffoon’s reasoning for further gouging the public purse strings.
By raising the federal tax on gasoline, consumers will be forced to buy more fuel-efficient cars.
Out of touch?
The only thing ol’ Dan is touching can be found between his legs. Maybe.
Yo Dan, got some breaking news for you.
People can’t afford to buy a car these days, let alone your new “fuel-efficient” cars which, reportedly, will be going up an average of some $3,500 over the next couple of years.
They’re budgeting their ever-dwindling salaries on trivialities like food products, which, by the way, are shrinking in quantity while going up in price. They’re spending their hard-earned on throwaway items like utilities. You know, just in case their kids might want to see in the dark or avoid those petty annoyances like frostbite.
In case you missed it Dan, the economy’s dropping faster than an anchor weighed down by an anvil. What good is a new car when you can’t afford the gas to put in it? But on the plus side, at least that unused brand-new car in your driveway will be fuel-efficient.
Yep, I’m sure everything will turn out peachy for our guy Dan. With his firm grasp on the wants and needs of the American consumer, he’ll run GM further into terra firma, declare bankruptcy, then parachute out from under the financial abortion and retire a billionaire.
Just another typical, rich ass wipe.
Like I said, with every fiber of my soul.





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