There was once a time when I felt sorry for the restaurant franchise, “Chik-Fil-A.”

I loved the food, and here they were, as I perceived them, at the bottom of the fast-food chain.

McDonald’s, Burger King, Wendy’s – hell, it even seemed to me that lightweights like Taco Bell and Arby’s were considered preferable options for the grab-a-quick-meal crowd.

This poor restaurant, putting out good food, was being ignored!

I also loved that Chick-Fil-A closed on Sundays.

Growing up in an era when nothing but drug stores and hospitals were open on Sundays, I admired the Chik-sters for ignoring the ready profits they could make feeding the shopping mall mobs and sticking to their guns by staying closed Sundays , which is, by most accounts, a family day.

How dare those tasteless twerps that call themselves Americans overlook such a fine establishment.

If only I’d known.

It turned out the Chik-sters, headed up by their president, Dan Cathy, were far from worthy of my or anyone else’s admiration. It turned out these clowns were just another brain dead chapter of the Bible Zombie Club.

What Cathy probably figured was an innocuous interview about same-sex marriage has now drawn a divisive line down the middle of the planet while producing two conflicting demonstrations that produced little more than a couple of silly minutes of video for the local news. On one side are the BZC,   hanging its entire, misguided hatred of the gay population on one biblical verse, good ol’ Leviticus 18:22, which depending on what bible you read loosely says, “Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman.”

Pretty definitive stuff, eh?

Sure sounds like the Big Guy is coming down hard on homosexuality.

The problem, however, is that the bible contains all kinds of these handy-dandy, how-to-live-your-life tips.

How about those oldies, but goodies, Numbers 15: 32-36, in which the Lord tells Moses to take a poor schlub found gathering sticks on the Sabbath and stone him to death.

Sounds to me as though anyone found working on the Sabbath these days, having the audacity to break a commandment and all, should be clobbered with a blunt instrument, taken out to the park and tossed in a six-foot hole.

Yet, I haven’t heard of any of the BZC whacking any smiley-faced nuns working the Sunday School Picnic.

Oh yeah, that’s right, the BZC, because they’re God’s chosen followers, get to pick and choose which of God’s admonitions they obey and which they don’t.

Work Sundays? OK. Find happiness with another human being? Nyet.

It’s also been a hoot monitoring the Christian uproar in the wake of the Cathy statement. The Zombs are telling anyone with a microphone in their hand that Cathy’s free-speech rights are being violated, and aren’t those God-hatin’ liberals hypocrites for continually yelping about free-speech violation when Cathy’s opinions are being attacked?

I know this is going to come as a hold-your-chest shock, but the BZC got it wrong again.

No one is trying to tell Cathy what he should believe or what he should say. This isn’t a free-speech issue. I feel the man’s beliefs are the equivalent of horse droppings, but he’s perfectly within his rights to stand atop the highest mountain and scream them. I’d even fight for his right to do so.

The problem his critics have is that he’s taking company profits and donating them to anti-gay groups with the hopes of overturning pro-gay legislation, same-sex marriage being a primary target.

Once again, that’s his right. But I do not have to hand over money for some waffle fries that I know is ticketed for fighting against the happiness and contentment of two people who care for each other.

If Cathy or anyone else comes out in favor of some Nazi doctrine, wearing swastikas and proclaiming his or her allegiance to the Aryan Nation, that’s fine. Vomit-inducing, but fine. If he suddenly decides to pour millions into the Send a Fascist to Summer Camp Foundation, however, I’m just not going to hand over my hard-earned to help him do it.

There’s no law against stupidity, but you’re under no obligation to fund it.

As for Chik-Fil-A being overlooked, I guess I don’t have to concern myself with that again anytime soon.